For a while now I’ve been struggling to sleep at night, and when I do sleep, I only really get 5 or 6 hours sleep. I know that might not sound too bad, but on most nights I used to get a comfortable 9 to 10 hours a night. So the change from 10 hours to 5 hours was a pretty significant change for me.
The most annoying thing about this though, is that I could be utterly exhausted and ready to get in bed and sleep, but as soon as I get into bed and my head hits the pillow, it’s like my brain has had a shot of adrenaline and I suddenly wake up. It’s almost as if my brain starts a queue of multiple scenarios, thoughts, and regrets, all of which are being played on a loop.
The main thing that usually keeps me awake is that I will go over all the regrets and mistakes that I have made. This could be anything from my failed relationship attempts (such as my Disastrous First Date, and recent attempts since) to all the mistakes I made on my driving lessons. These are played on repeat, and at the end of each, my brain would make a snide comment like “if you hadn’t made that one mistake, things would be loads different know”, which makes me feel awful.
The regrets that usually keep me awake are not spending more time with my Nana and Grandad before they died. I would only ever visit once or twice every few months, and the last time I saw my grandad alive, it was a week before he died and that was the first time I had visited them in weeks. Then, when my nan went into hospital, I couldn’t bring myself to hold her hand and speak to her because I knew what was happening to her and I was scared something would happen whilst we were with her. Some other regrets that go through my head is when I feel like I’ve offended someone, and even if they’ve assured me that nothing’s wrong, I will constantly feel like it.
Another thing that keeps me awake when I get into bed is that I start to picture multiple different scenarios, none of which are very happy or positive. I tend to get paranoid about the health of my close family members. As some of you may know, the U.K has been hit by one of the worst bouts of flu that we have seen in decades. My grandparents got hit pretty badly by this flu, and with the news reporting that people were dying of this strong flu, it’s fair to say that I got pretty paranoid for a while about it. I ended up creating pretty bad scenarios of what could happen and tried to think how it would affect me. Luckily, my grandparents have recovered from this flu and these thoughts seem to have dissipated for now.
A final thing that interrupts my sleeping schedule most nights is that my creativity runs wild. During the day, I’m pretty exhausted so I’m never really creative or my imagination isn’t really up to much, but as soon as I get into bed, my imagination runs wild. I get thousands of ideas that I decide that I absolutely need to write down so that I don’t forget them, and then I start developing these ideas in my head and trying to think of what the outcome will be.
This has all been bothering me for a while now, but it’s been getting worse over the past month or so, to the point that I’ve started to read to tire me out, but I’m still staying awake for another hour or so until I actually get tired. Does anyone have any tips or advice for getting a better night’s sleep? If you do, please feel free to let me know in the comments below.
So that’s all for this week guys, I’ll see you again soon.
An Anxious Gal